The Oakland Raiders lost to the Denver Broncos on Sunday, but of course you're all well aware of that by now. What you may not be aware of is that late in the second quarter, the Raiders were penalized for a false start. But this was no ordinary false start. There is no column in the box score for what transpired during this particular penalty. Football is often touted as the sport best suited for the medium of television, and I think that the below video will illustrate that point better than the finest scholars in the land.
What you are seeing here is Broncos defensive tackle Marcus Thomas so consumed with euphoria at the Raiders false start that he has no idea what to do with himself. Such is the level of his elation that he is only able to express himself through interpretive dance.
Although to the untrained eye his gyrations may look like a shamefully drunk Deion Sanders attempting to simultaneous demonstrate the Super Bowl Shuffle, the Morris Day & the Time "Jungle Love" dance from Purple Rain and rudimentary karate, his every movement tells a lyrical story in three acts.
Acte the Firste: Whimsy
Msr. Thomas here elucidates his glee in the form of an innocent child, traipsing through a meadow of dandelions. His heart fit to burst with joy, his bright and beaming smile recalls a simpler time in the life of man. This display brings to mind the yearning for one's youth, the scoffing at one's gnawing sense of mortality.
Acte the Second: The Shuffle of Man
Msr. Thomas next will list from side to side, tottering in the approximation of a crude dance. Here is the precipice and the immediacy of pleasure. How fleeting is our success, how momentary our defeat. When one does not know how to dance, may not one still feel the happiness of the music? For it is within us all.
Karate is completely awesome. That last move may be some sort of Dragon Uppercut.
Feel free to comment on these sweet dance moves and anything else related to the Raiders over at Silver and Black Pride.