Dan Quinn is a mixed martial arts fighter who was born in Roseville and fights out of Sacramento. He's 5-7-1 and has never fought in the UFC. He also hasn't fought since 2010 and is more or less retired. He's 44 years old and looks about 65. He's known for being a weirdo and for loving stevia. Yes, the sweetener, stevia. He loves the stuff so much that he's willing to go off on long rants about anyone who dare besmirch the good name of stevia. Yes, really. According to KJ Gould of Bloody Elbow, Quinn recently called UFC president Dana White to issue some f-words and death threats and try out a truly amazing Irish accent. You can listen to the entire voicemail-slash-diatrive after the jump.
That's a heaping helping of crazy, ladies and gentlemen. I love the sudden appearance of the "Irish guy" which is about as cliche and stereotypical as you can get. The only way it would have been more cliche is if he'd just gone, "P'tay-toe p'tay-toe p'tay-toe, feckin' boondock saints booshmills lucky chaerms." It's like the worst guy in an improv group who thinks he's gonna join the Groundlings.
Let's all hope that Quinn systematically starts calling every notable figure in MMA and begins leaving similar death threats/messages. He can start with Ariel Helwani, maybe. You could be MMA's Jose Canseco, Quinn. Take the ball and run with it.