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Breaking: The Giants And A's Can't Hit: Bay Area Week In Review

The offensive futility around these parts is getting downright comical.

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I went to Tuesday night's Giants game, a 5-3 loss to the San Diego Padres. You'd think, "Gosh, BASG, that must have been fun. AT&T Park is the best experience in baseball. There's a kiss cam, and the fans do the wave, and..."

Okay, I'll admit: I had fun. I ate several pregame tacos and drank during-the-game beer. But after my wife stopped complaining about being cold (after running off to a souvenir stand and buying a bright orange Giants hoodie), suddenly I was the grumpy one. Not because of the cold weather, which I can deal with. I can even deal with Giants fans doing the wave around me (okay, that's not true, but only 40-50 fans actually did the wave before it died a much-deserved death). But watching an offense that depends on singles and baserunning perfection can be about as enjoyable as watching LIfetime will be when they start running the inevitable "Based on a True Story" movie about Casey Anthony -- especially when good baserunning moments are in short supply. It's offense so bad it's almost funny, unless you're stuck watching it.

A's fans reading this are saying, "I'd give you wine and cheese if wine and cheese weren't so damned expensive. Giants fans are a bunch of of entitled pansies who are finally getting a little karmic payback for the season they were gifted last season. They couldn't hit last year, and this year they're dealing with the injuries we've dealt with ever since Carney Lansford went to the darkside until he was fired because a bunch of aggressive hitters were too aggressive."

Can't really argue with A's fans there, although maybe that's because I just played the part of an annoyed A's fan. And the Athletics' offense is just as bad as the offense on the western side of the Bay. Even though the A's have suffered a pretty nasty run of injuries to pitchers, they're still one of the top teams in terms of pitching by any measure. But the A's are actually slightly worse than the Giants in nearly every category besides stolen bases, and they haven't lost their three best hitters for significant amounts of time.

The Giants and A's aren't alone around these parts, as the six teams in the Pacific Time Zone are all in the bottom eight among all MLB teams in runs scored. That includes Seattle, who lost 2-0 to the A's on Wednesday. As I said on Twitter Wednesday night while watching the Giants and Padres (who, along with the Mariners, are the only teams to have scored fewer runs than the Giants and A's this season) combine for 36 strikeouts over 14 innings, a game ended mercifully by a Nate Schierholtz home run that clanked off the aluminum awning at the very front of the right field arcade, the 2011 MLB season gives a new, horrible meaning to the term "West Coast Offense."

What Else Is Going On?

-- The NFL is in lockout mode, and Takeo Spikes isn't a huge fan of "Camp Alex."

I'm not in favor of those and the reason why is because number one: I think guys are doing because the next man is doing it. It's like if you are going to do what you are going to do I've always been taught and I live by this creed is that what you do in private will be displayed in public one day, so you don't have to try to keep up with the jones' and try to do something because hey this quarterback is doing it, so I'm going to do it.

-- The NBA is in lockout mode, and the league isn't a big fan of mentioning current players. It's good news if you're a fan of watching replays of old games and drafts, though. Watching Rick Barry's synthetic hair through the years beats every time lapse video I can think of.

-- The NHL isn't in lockout mode, and the Sharks traded Dany Heatley for Martin Havlat after trading for Brent Burns two weeks ago. Imagine if the Warriors could make trades so easily whenever they want to remake/improve their team. If there's a year for the Sharks to really grab a big chunk of the Bay Area, it's 2011-12 (especially if the NBA doesn't come back until 2012-13).

-- None other than Keith Olbermann decided to rattle some cages with his claim that Bruce Bochy adding Ryan Vogelsong to the NL All-Star Game Roster, calling the decision "desperate homerism, pathetic, embarrassing."

Bay Area Sports Week in Review is an SB Nation Bay Area feature written by Bay Area Sports Guy. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.