clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Sacramento Kings Need A (Premium Cable) Reality Show

With a cast of characters ranging from DeMarcus Cousins to Jimmer Fredette, HBO or Showtime should follow the Kings.

Picture it ... an NBA team run by two brothers named Joe and Gavin Maloof, both with deep Vegas ties. It's a team that almost left their quaint little capital city for more populous digs, but in the end stuck around to the delight of a rabid, albeit battered, group of fans. Then, fill said team with an eclectic roster, with half of the players vying to be the team's leading scorer.

Wouldn't this make a great reality show? Not a VH-1 kind of reality show like Basketball Wives, but a reality show on a premium channel. Because if you're going to do a reality show about the Sacramento Kings, there's going to be cursing.

Not that you won't hear colorful language following any other NBA squad, or any team in professional sports for that matter. But the Kings are putting together a team that, while exciting to watch, will at times find it difficult to keep everyone happy. Though recently-signed Chuck Hayes is a defensive-minded player who won't call for the ball, the Kings have quite the cast of gunners:

Marcus Thornton: The recipient of a 4-year contract worth around $31-33 million, he averaged 21.3 ppg in 27 games after the Hornets traded him to the Kings, taking 20+ field goal attempts in 30% of his games in Sacramento.

Tyreke Evans: The 2010 Rookie of the Year fell in love with his outside shot last year, and it led to him scoring 2.3 fewer ppg in 2010-11 even though he took just as many shots (a little more, actually, 16.4 attempts in 2010-11 compared to 16.2 in his rookie season). 

John Salmons: Back with the team where he transformed from bench scorer to volume shooter. 

Jimmer Fredette: Let's just say this rookie's fairly confident in his abilities...

So you have four guards who might average 20 3-pt attempts per game between them, and we haven't even gotten to the Kings' most reality show-worthy character, DeMarcus Cousins. Rookie Isaiah Thomas has personality to spare, too. Put it all together, from the owners on down it's hard to envision a better Hard Knocks or The Franchise kind of show about an NBA team than one featuring the Kings. 

Forget the star power of the Heat's Big 2.5, or the ever-constant pressure faced by the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics in their respective cities. Could those teams possibly top these potential story lines?

Episode One: Party at Gavin's

The Kings' owners bring the squad together for a little preseason bonding at Gavin's $16 million Vegas mansion, as Lil' Wayne films the sequel video to his hit song "Lollipop." Jimmer hides in a closet, wondering what he's gotten himself into. 

Episode Two: Only One Basketball

As the Kings host the Los Angeles Lakers, an awkward scene arises as John steals the ball from Marcus, who then has the ball knocked away by Tyreke. Coach Westphal considers altering his rotation. 

Episode Three: Not Exactly Kissing Cousins

DeMarcus takes rookie hazing a bit too far when he steals Jimmer's "sacred underwear" and gives it to Kings mascot Slamson, who unwittingly fires it to a lucky fan with his t-shirt launcher.

Episode Four: Fredette's First F-Bomb

After DeMarcus fouls him particularly hard during practice, Jimmer drops his first curse word. The Kings immediately accept the rookie as a valued member of the team and the Kings follow with an 11-game win streak where they average 120 ppg. 

Episode Five (bonus, if the Kings can lure Andrei Kirilenko away from Russia): Swingin' Swingman

A look at the unique relationship between Andrei and his wife, former Russian "pop star" Masha Lopatova, who allows Andrei one free groupie per year.

With this team, the possibilities are almost endless (too bad Omri Casspi was traded to the Cavaliers for J.J. Hickson, at least for entertainment purposes, since his relationship with Fredette would probably get its own episode). It's a win-win for HBO or Showtime, the NBA and the Kings, who with some added publicity (and a winning record) could pave the way to getting the funding needed for a new arena in Sacramento. Plus, it would be ridiculously entertaining.


Check out BASG's writing on Bay Area Sports Guy. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.