Nyjer Morgan To Practice With San Jose Sharks, World To Become Slightly More Awesome

Nyjer Morgan is known to most Bay Area baseball fans -- nay, most baseball fans in general -- for his outlandish and at times petulant antics on and off the diamond. He goes by the alias (or "alter ego") "Tony Plush," has been known to throw his glove and pout instead of going after a missed, live ball in the outfield and is not above openly taunting fans. One of the many, many interesting things about Morgan is that he had the option of pursuing professional hockey before giving it up in favor of baseball. On Tuesday, the San Francisco native and San Jose resident (yes, he's one of us) comes full circle, as he will practice with the San Jose Sharks.

Somehow, SB Nation has been able to acquire an advance transcript of Morgan's transcript, which has not happened yet.

Todd McLellan: Welcome to HP Pavilion, Mr. Morgan! We're pleased to have you here with us today.

Nyjer Morgan: Mhm. Mhm. Sure man. Let's do this.

McLellan: We wanted to have some of our Sharks players show you "the ropes," so here's your "tour guides" for the day: Patrick Marleau, Joe Thornton and Antti Niemi.

Joe Thornton: Aw hey dere Mr. Morgan sir. Y'aboat ready t'get started dere?

Morgan: Man you're not gonna tell me how to hockey man I've been hockeying since I was born.

Patrick Marleau: Well let's just take er easy t'start with and then we can let er rip when we're nice an warmed up.

Morgan: Man nobody gets Ricardo Kaboom warm, Ricardo Kaboom was born warm man, he's on FIYAH!

/chuckles, spins in circle, does elaborate hand gestures

Marleau: Who's Ricardo Kaboom?

Morgan: /rolls eyes excessively

That's my hockey alter ego, man. Tony Plush is my baseball alter ego, Ricardo Kaboom is my hockey alter ego, Tony Gumbel is my professional alter ego and my foosball alter ego is Alistair St. Croix.

Thornton: Uh, should we

Morgan: YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

/skates out onto ice full speed still wearing blade covers

/swings hockey stick like baseball bat

/slides headfirst into net

Morgan: One point for Team Kaboom!

Niemi: You fall in net, Mr. Morgan!

Morgan: Them's the rules of the game, my man. Hey, what's that accent?

Niemi: I am Finnish.

Morgan: Well, you better "Finnish" hasslin' me about my Ricardo Kaboom brand of hockey. HYA HYA!

/laughs and skates backwards while making outlandish "T" hand signals

Morgan: SKILLS CHALLENGE NHL 2K11

/performs full wind-up slap shot on hockey puck

/puck goes flying into second deck of HP Pavilion

Morgan: You guys are way behind already, you better catch up.

Thornton: /casts confused glance at Marleau

Marleau: /shrugs

Morgan: I call this one the "Van Kaboominator."

/balances puck on Michal Handzus's head

/winds up

Michael Handzus: what

Morgan: You know what they say, man: when life "Handzus lemons..."

Handzus: what

Morgan: /rolls eyes

PSSSSHHHHHH

/swings

/just brutally cranks Handzus in the scalp, puck falls sadly to the ice

Handzus: AAAAAH AAAAAH

/bleeds from head

Thornton: Now what'd you go and do that for?

McLellan: Mr. Kaboom, I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Morgan: Man you guys don't play hockey right anyway. I saw a foosball table in the locker room. Who wants to go toe-to-toe with Alistair St. Croix? His finishing move is called the "FoosPlushinator." Check it:

/pulls out knife

/is wrestled to ground by security

For all news and information regarding the San Jose Sharks, please visit Fear the Fin. For updates and perspective on Nyjer Morgan's baseball team, head on over to Brew Crew Ball.

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