If the 2012 baseball offseason has brought us nothing else, it has brought us the joy of watching disgraced slugger and former Oakland Athletics superstar Jose Canseco slowly losing his mind on Twitter. His personal Twitter feed was already train-wreck fascinating long before he started talking about his big 2012 comeback, but between trying to get in touch with Billy Beane about a designated hitting job by tweeting out his personal email and announcing that he'd signed with a Mexican League baseball team, his travels and adventures have been anything but dull.
Over the weekend, he was at it again, tweeting from Cancun, where he is a member of the Quintana Roo Tigres (or as Canseco refers to them, the "cancun tigres."
On Thursday, Canseco sent out a series of tweets reading "hug for you." These went out to a number of celebrities who have not responded -- nor will they ever -- including Mike Tyson and Gary Busey. This one was my favorite, though:
@TheRock hug for you .do you mma— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 1, 2012
Yes, the age-old question of our time: "do you mma"
On Friday, he delivered this apparent non-sequitor that he believes speaks to his current ability.
Strange enough I hit my career high 46 homeruns the year I did not use steroids figure that one out .Toronto bluejays— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 3, 2012
I guess it is not worth pointing out that the season in question was way back in 1998, and the -- wait, "the" year you didn't do steroids?
On Saturday he paid tribute to his current team by paying them one of the most dubious compliments I've seen in some time.
Love the cancun tigres team .easy to see y they are champs .could probably beat the royals— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 4, 2012
Yep, I'm sure they probably could. He did "clarify" a short time later, however.
ok maybe royals would have to have a real bad day but i am excited about the tigres talent and seeing with my heart— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 4, 2012
I don't think you should be excited about seeing with your heart, Jose. I think you should probably get that checked out.
Lastly on Saturday, Canseco showed off his keen grasp of geography.
cancun is one of the best places i have been it should be named the capital of the caribean— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 4, 2012
Sadly, he did not follow this tweet up with, "and i should be named king of the caribean! raise the mizzen-mast ye scurvy scalawags we'll sail the gulf of mexico searchin for pieces of eight"
But I am absolutely certain that he was thinking it.
For all news and information regarding Jose Canseco, please stay tuned to his personal Twitter feed, the world's least reliable source for anything grounded in reality.