The Oakland Athletics, in the midst of their offseason plan of "what in the holy hell are the Oakland Athletics doing," have signed Cuban free agent Yoenis Cespedes, who is a center fielder. The only problem with this (besides not making any sense at all) is that the A's already have a center fielder: Coco Crisp.
According to Susan Slusser at SFGate, Crisp conducted a phone interview on Tuesday and said (among other things), "If someone feels there's someone better than me, it's hard for me to believe. Unless he's a demigod come down from the heavens, no one is going to outshine me in center field."
Putting aside for a fact that Crisp seems to think fairly highly of himself, he's raising an interesting point here. Demigods -- be they Greek, Norse, or miscellaneous -- might be quite well-suited to the game of baseball. Since baseball fans love making lists that compare players, especially if it involves futzing around with lineups, I present to you:
The All-Demigod Team
Manager: Gilgamesh. Has the smarts and experience needed to build a true dynasty.
Starting Pitcher: Cycnus. The son of Ares has plenty of nasty stuff, but can have trouble closing.
Relief Pitcher: Orpheus. Doesn't look imposing, but when he really gets into a rhythm, watch out.
LF: Orion. Terrific eye, unstoppable determination to get on base. This is the guy you want leading off. Scouts can be put off by his size, but he's the real deal.
2B: Perseus. Crafty and scrappy, he has the contact needed to be the perfect #2 hitter, or to slay a Gorgon. Whichever you need.
1B: Heracles. Dude swings a literal club. Best suited to man first base, but can still surprise you with his athleticism.
DH: Achilles. Still has plenty of power, but mobility issues limit him to being a strictly DH or off-the-bench guy. His raw talent at the plate still warrants a spot in the lineup, but he won't be stealing any bases.
3B: Aeneas. Bridges the gap between the Greek and Roman demigods. Massive talent, tremendous head for the game and can also serve as translator in a pinch.
C: Theseus. You need someone behind the plate who is not only athletic, but can really take a beating. Theseus once killed a dang minotaur. I rest my case.
RF: Minos. The elder statesman of the team, he can still go. Serving a mentor role to the younger demigods is invaluable.
SS: Arcas. Prone to making some mistakes every now and then, but still possesses enough elements of "gritty" and "gamer" to trick Zeus himself on occasion.
CF: Coco Crisp. "I'm going to make all the plays."
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