Brent Jones Is This Guy's Muse

Former San Francisco 49ers tight end Brent Jones has a lot of fans, just like any football player who has won three Super Bowls would have a lot of fans. Football is the most popular thing in America, after all. And football fans can be a little obsessive. A little over the top. It's just how things go. So when Brent Jones recently appeared at an autograph signing in San Francisco, of course a fan took this is his opportunity to read an epic, hand-penned poem about Brent Jones.

Courtesy of D Wizzle's World, check out the video of this fan sidling up to Jones to read a poem that is absolutely Beowulf-like in scope. Note that this video is well over six minutes long. Also note that the gentleman is encouraged to wrap it up at about the 3:45 mark.

As a longtime pro wrestling fan (shut up), I know this type of fan extremely well. He pays no heed to the fact that Jones is barely paying attention to him and/or just trying not to bolt for the door. The important thing is that HE READS HIS POEM TO BRENT JONES OH GOD. I'm actually pretty happy for this dude, because this is clearly going to be one of his favorite memories ever, so good for him. The most shocking thing? He gets a rousing round of applause at the end.

Dude really needs an editor, though. You don't really have to play up every single aspect of the dude's career. And if you're going to make and epic poem about a football player, make that crap epic, man. Have him slaying orcs and stealing the Hope diamond and whatnot.

I guess we should all just be thankful that he didn't ask to draw Brent Jones like one of his French girls.

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