SAN FRANCISCO CA - JANUARY 09: A general view of the Boston College game against the Nevada Wolf Pack in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl at AT&T Park on January 9 2011 in San Francisco California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: Illinois Defeats UCLA, 20-14

The UCLA Bruins will take on the Illinois Fighting Illini in the 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, and both teams will be without a head coach. We provide all the news updates on arguably the worst bowl of the season.

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13 Total Updates since December 5, 2011
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Illinois Vs. UCLA, 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: Recap And Score

The UCLA Bruins and the Illinois Fighting Illini faced off at AT&T Park in San Francisco on Saturday, as the two teams competed in the 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl. The Bruins took an early lead but a timely pick-six and a stingy Illinois defense ultimately resulted in a 20-14 win by the Fighting Illini.

Illinois put up 178 rushing yards in the game, including 110 yards by quarterback Nathan Scheelhaase, which is the name of at least three characters in the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" series. By comparison, the Bruins had 18 rushing yards. Yep. 18 yards. One-eight. In a game that was widely anticipated to be awful at best, that's a woefully pitiful offensive stat.

Bruins quarterback Kevin Prince was sacked five times and ended up being charged with -31 yards, which is also not a particularly "good" stat to have. UCLA also managed -11 total yards on two punt returns, which a long of one yard. The Bruins fared better on the other side of the foot, with Jeff Locke punting eight times for 366 yards. To put it another way, Locke punted for 147 more yards than the total offensive yardage put out by UCLA on Saturday.

It was one for the ages, if by "one" you mean "dumb," and by "for the ages" you mean "to watch."

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Final Score: Illinois Wins Terri-Bowl, 20-14

The 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl has come and gone, with Saturday's game between the UCLA Bruins and the Illinois Fighting Illini being every bit as awful and sloppy as expected. In the end, Illinois emerged victorious by a final score of 20-14.

The biggest surprise of the game is that both teams managed to score at least two touchdowns. Until a third of the way through the second quarter, it appeared the two teams might never score. At halftime, the score stood at 7-3 in favor of the Bruins.

After a missed field goal by Illinois, it appeared as though that would still be the score entering the final quarter of play, but UCLA quarterback Kevin Prince threw a pass that was intercepted and ran back for a touchdown with 0:43 remaining in the third quarter for the Fighting Illini to take a lead that they would not relinquish for the remainder of the game.

Illinois added to their lead with a field goal and touchdown pass in the fourth quarter to extend their lead to 20-7 before Prince threw a touchdown pass to Nelson Rosario with 0:29 remaining. One failed onside kick later and Illinois had won back-to-back bowl games for the first time...ever.

Yep, one team was slightly less awful than the other and took home a shiny trophy. A trophy that was sadly not made out of delicious Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, nor was it shaped like the aforementioned flavor sensation.

Hunger could not be reached for comment as to whether it was successfully fought, but I'm guessing the answer is no, because I plan on eating some dinner later on. Way to go, jerks. Way to not fight hunger at all.

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Score Update: Illinois Holds 10-7 Lead Over UCLA Heading Into Fourth Quarter

The Illinois Fighting Illini and the UCLA Bruins are playing in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl at AT&T Park in San Francisco. The action has been as riveting as it has well-played, which is to say, "nope." Heading into the final quarter, Illinois has taken a 10-7 lead off of a pick-six by Terry Hawthorne with 0:43 left in the third quarter.

The most notable thing about the third quarter, other than that interception and touchdown, is that Illinois has a linebacker named "Whitney Mercilus." By sheer coincidence, I have just written a treatment for a script called "Whitney the Merciless," about a wisecracking, confident, single barbarian, to be played by America's sweetheart, Whitney Cummings.

Whitney the Merciless wanders the countryside, striking fear into the hearts of the denizens of the barren, snow-covered land of Illinitonia. One day, Whitney the Merciless finds a golden amulet, which contains a map to a land of untold riches. With her trusty band of miscreants, yadda yadda yadda learns a valuable lesson about true wealth, blah blah blah finds out that her crusty exterior keeps her from the happiness that lies within.

I just need to ship that off to whatever studio it is that keeps greenlighting Nicolas Cage movies and you'll probably be seeing that in theaters in six months. And then on DVD and Blu-Ray like three weeks after that.

Coming up next: the senses-shaking conclusion! (Of the game, sadly.)

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Score Update: Illinois Marginally Worse Than UCLA, Trail 7-3 At Halftime

The Illinois Fighting Illini and the UCLA Bruins are still playing the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, despite neither team being particularly good at football. The second quarter resulted in the first scores of the game, though, so they're making progress toward a winner despite the best efforts of both teams. At halftime, the Bruins hold a four-point lead.

Bruins quarterback Kevin Prince, who spent most of the first quarter alternately getting sacked and rolling around on the ground in pain after being sacked, managed to create the first touchdown of the game with a 16-yard pass to Taylor Embree.

The Fighting Illini of Anaheim managed to get into the UCLA red zone with under 2:00 left in the half. They ended up at third and goal at the five yard line and took a time out with 0:30 left. Not to be outdone, the UCLA interim coach called a timeout as soon as the teams retook the field with 0:28 left. The oneupsmanship is breathtaking. The UCLA timeout proved to be the trump card, however, as Illinois quarterback Nathan Scheelhaase was sacked all the way back to the 18 yard line. Illinois seemed to be unaware the clock was running as the field goal team set up, forcing them to use their final time out with 0:01 left. It's okay, they get more timeouts in the second half. So we'll have that to look forward to. The eventual 36-yard field goal was barely good, sending the teams to halftime with UCLA ahead 7-3.

Despite that flurry of score, the game has continued to be a plodding affair of dropped passes and lost yardage. It must be said that the play has improved in the second quarter from "historically abysmal" to "god-awful." That, of course, is not enough of an improvement.

A short list of things that would immediately and drastically improve the quality of play in this game:

  • Insert "honorary coaches" Joe Montana and Jerry Rice into the game
  • Pile of banana peels every 20 yards
  • Pre-empt the game and show stock footage of the Puppy Bowl
  • Replace starting players with Keystone Kops
  • Pretend the grass is hot lava
  • Attempt experimental, first-ever helmetless bowl game
  • Quarterbacks attempt to hand off ball to referee on every snap

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Score Update: No Score After Terrible First Quarter

The Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, AKA the Fired Coaches Bowl, AKA the Three-And-Out Bowl, is underway at AT&T Park in San Francisco. The 6-7 UCLA Bruins are taking on the 6-6 Illinois Fighting Illini in a heated struggle of who can play the worst bowl game in history faster. It's living up to all expectations (there were no expectations) and is scoreless after the first quarter.

The game got off to a spectacular start as the UCLA kick returner lost the opening kickoff in the sun for a touchback. UCLA would later catch, drop and recover a punt.

For much of the first quarter, an Illinois wide receiver, Darius Millines, had more passing yards (9) than their starting quarterback (6). Their quarterback, Nathan Scheelhaase, is leading the team in receiving yards and is leading all rushers with 38 yards on six carries.

Quarterback Kevin Prince of UCLA has -8 rushing yards. The Illini defensive line has been treating him more like Martin Prince, roughing him up and causing an injury delay with just over two minutes remaining in the first quarter. The backup Bruins quarterback may be coming into the game soon.

The most exciting thing about the game so far is the occasional first down.

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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Illinois Vs. UCLA, 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: Time, TV, Radio, Odds And More

The UCLA Bruins and the Illinois Fighting Illini of Illinois will play a football game against one another on Saturday, December 31, 2011. This is supposedly a BCS-sanctioned bowl game, but it's going under the name of the "Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl," the coin toss will be with an Oreo, and one of the teams in the game is not eligible for a bowl game. So odds are pretty good that you're hallucinating all of this.

In the off chance you're not, though, here's all the information you would need if you wanted to subject yourself to what could potentially be the worst bowl game of your lifetime:

Start Time: The game will kick off at 12:30 PM PST at AT&T Park in San Francisco, which coincidentally is also exactly one minute after the last time that AT&T Park will ever be a place of joy and magic.

TV Coverage: ESPN appears to have lost the bet as to which cable channel will be forced to carry the game nationally.

Online Stream: If you wanted all the brutality of being exposed to the game, but didn't want to bother reaching for the remote, you should be able to find the game on ESPN3.com

Radio: ESPN Radio apparently lost two bets.

Betting Line: The Illini are favored by 3 points. The over/under for the matchup is set at 42 points. The over/under on how bad you will feel about yourself for watching the entire game is set at 1.5 family-size bags of Naco Cheese Doritos.

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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Illinois Vs. UCLA, 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: They Still Plan On Playing This Thing

The Illinois Fighting Illini and the UCLA Bruins continue to insist that they'll be facing one another in an actual FBS bowl game that is supposedly called the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl. The game reportedly takes place on Saturday, December 31 at 12:30 PM PST at AT&T Park in San Francisco.

The 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl will be the record-setting 10th edition of the game, continuing its unprecedented streak of being played following 10 consecutive NCAA football seasons. The Fighting Illini will be the overwhelming 3-point favorites to win, putting their 6-6 record up against the 6-7 record boasted by the Bruins, who are technically not bowl-eligible.

The game will air on ESPN for some reason, where it is hoped that dozens of fans or more will tune in to watch the saddest performance at AT&T Park since Madison Bumgarner allowed eight runs in the first inning of a game between the San Francisco Giants and the Minnesota Twins earlier this year.

The head coaches of both of these football teams have been fired. Illinois has lost their last six games in a row. The Bruins have been outscored 99-31 in their last two games.

The surgeon general has warned that spending any portion of your New Year's Eve watching this game may be viewed as really, really sad but also moderately hilarious.

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl 2011: Still Shaping Up To Be Diappointing

The date for the 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl between the UCLA Bruins and the Illinois Fighting Illini is rapidly approaching and sportswriters are still looking for nice things to say about one of the most underwhelming BCS bowls in recent memory.

Andy Gardiner of the Tucson Citizen points out that this game is a great example of the coaching upheaval that took place in 2011, as both teams dismissed their head coaches at the end of the season. "Coaching Assistant Bowl" doesn't have quite the same ring to it as the "Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl" which should probably tell you all you need to know.

Dirk Chatelain over at the Omaha World-Herald mentions that Illinois is just one of the Big Ten teams attempting to keep from embarrassing themselves this bowl season, which is probably a good example of the adage that if you can't say anything nice...

To discuss the matchup with UCLA football fans, go to Bruins Nation. To talk about the matchup with Illinois football fans, head to Hail to the Orange.

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Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: UCLA, Illinois Will Battle ... Sort Of

There's nothing like an undefeated start being followed by a defeated ending. That's what the Illinois Fighting Illini accomplished with a 6-0 start and an 0-6 end to both their regular season and their head coach, Ron Zook's coaching career. So why not put them in a bowl game with another team with no head coach? They had to file paperwork just to be allowed to play another game of the season since, well, they couldn't win half of the ones already on their schedule, Ladies and gentlemen, the 6-7 UCLA Bruins.

But at the end of the day, a game must by played and the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl has to figure out a way to prevent its title from reverting from the positive nature of fighting hunger to a punch-line of two teams starving for some level of success.

Illinois sports a defense ranked 21st in the country, allowing 20.1 points per game but offensively, they've struggled to put points on the board and currently sit 91st at 22.8 points per game. In the Fighting Illini's last six games, they've only managed 11 points per game. Oh, they lost all of them. See a trend?

The UCLA Bruins have been outscored 99-31 in their last two games. Now, mind you, they were against USC and Oregon but still, that's pretty ugly. Aside from a four-point loss to Houston in the first game of the season, the Bruins have lost by 29, 26, 36, 25, 50 and 18. When they lose, they lose big. The running game is decent behind junior Johnathan Franklin (947 yards, five touchdowns) and senior Derrick Coleman (726 yards, 11 touchdowns). Both players average over 5.0 yards per carry.

And that's pretty much the best way to sum up the Fired Coaches Bowl aka The Extra Regular Bowl. Have fun folks!

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Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: UCLA Bruins Vs. Illinois Fighting Illini

The UCLA Bruins will take on the Illinois Fighting Illini in the 2011 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, and both teams will be without a head coach.

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